Foster care has two sides

There’s the side people notice: the cute pictures, the milestones, the “you’re such a blessing” comments at family get togethers or in the grocery store.

 

And then there’s the side no one sees.

They don’t see the 12-year-old battling depression, trauma, self-harm, weeks in crisis units or mental hospitals - while all you can do is sit there praying she makes it through.

They don’t see the 2 a.m. ER trips with a Medicaid card clutched in your hand, wondering if it’ll even scan, because foster cares system is so broken.

They don’t see the hours spent teaching the 1 year old baby sign language because his only way to communicate is through his hands. They don’t see the 1-year-old struggling to do simple milestones like walking, repeating sounds, they don’t see him spending over 40 hours a week in ABA therapy—forty hours, for a baby—

while you juggle parent teaching sessions, work, family and tears-lots of tears

They don’t see the supervised visits, the child’s behavior drastically change right before and right after the visit, they don’t see the disappointment in the 12 year olds face when her bio mom doesn’t make the video visit, they don’t see the connection fade away with every hang up. They done see the endless phone calls to caseworkers and therapists, or the paperwork that never ends.

They don’t see you trying to squeeze “normal” family life into the cracks—What people don’t see is the toll. The sacrifice. The bone-deep exhaustion that no one claps for.

But here’s what they also don’t see:

The way a child’s laugh cuts through the chaos.

The way healing shows up in tiny, ordinary moments. The way love keeps expanding your heart, even when it feels like it might break.

Foster care isn’t just what people notice. It’s what they don’t see. And it’s in those unseen places—the hospitals, the therapy rooms, the midnight tears—that the real work is happening.

So please—check on your people. Offer support. Show up. Because behind the cute pictures and sweet stories, there are families holding it all together with shaking hands and tired hearts & tired minds.

s two sides.

There’s the side people notice: the cute pictures, the milestones, the “you’re such a blessing” comments at family get togethers or in the grocery store.

And then there’s the side no one sees.

They don’t see the 12-year-old battling depression, trauma, self-harm, weeks in crisis units or mental hospitals - while all you can do is sit there praying she makes it through.

They don’t see the 2 a.m. ER trips with a Medicaid card clutched in your hand, wondering if it’ll even scan, because foster cares system is so broken.

They don’t see the hours spent teaching the 1 year old baby sign language because his only way to communicate is through his hands. They don’t see the 1-year-old struggling to do simple milestones like walking, repeating sounds, they don’t see him spending over 40 hours a week in ABA therapy—forty hours, for a baby—

while you juggle parent teaching sessions, work, family and tears-lots of tears

They don’t see the supervised visits, the child’s behavior drastically change right before and right after the visit, they don’t see the disappointment in the 12 year olds face when her bio mom doesn’t make the video visit, they don’t see the connection fade away with every hang up. They done see the endless phone calls to caseworkers and therapists, or the paperwork that never ends.

They don’t see you trying to squeeze “normal” family life into the cracks—What people don’t see is the toll. The sacrifice. The bone-deep exhaustion that no one claps for.

But here’s what they also don’t see:

The way a child’s laugh cuts through the chaos.

The way healing shows up in tiny, ordinary moments. The way love keeps expanding your heart, even when it feels like it might break.

Foster care isn’t just what people notice. It’s what they don’t see. And it’s in those unseen places—the hospitals, the therapy rooms, the midnight tears—that the real work is happening.

So please—check on your people. Offer support. Show up. Because behind the cute pictures and sweet stories, there are families holding it all together with shaking hands and tired hearts & tired minds.